Friday Night’s Alright for Writing (#2) – Top 10 Most Annoying Driving Habits in LA

One of the things I’ve had the pleasure of dealing with lately is more time on the roads of Los Angeles. Specifically I’m talking about the 101 freeway, just around the 405 interchange and all roads that serve as alternate routes – these can sometimes be the bane of my existence. Anyone who lives here, or who has spent any significant amount of time here will attest to the fact that most times, driving here can be a huge pain in the ________ (name your favorite body part that typically exhibits pain in these instances.)

In fact, many people will do what they can to avoid driving said roads if they can (though not enough people avoid it, for if they did, I probably wouldn’t be writing this blog post.)

Here are my Top 10 Most Annoying Driving Habits of my fellow road rage catalysts Los Angelenos:

1) Turning left at an intersection before oncoming traffic even has the chance to go on their green. Is your life so important that you need to cause an accident? Really?

2) Stepping on the brake for no reason whatsoever. Other than to cause a traffic jam. For no reason whatsoever.

3) Not turning right on a red – when there is no rule posted that you have to wait. Just because you’re not sure of your driving skills and you need to be sure it’s absolutely clear. Like, oh wait, now I have a green light clear.

4) Waiting for the last minute to get into the lane you need to be in – even though you drive the same flippin’ route…every…damn…day. Don’t you know where you have to be?

5) Not turning left immediately when you have a green arrow. GREEN ARROWS MEAN GO. Just like green lights mean go. Oh wait, you don’t know that either.

6) Not stopping when you have a red light. RED LIGHT MEANS STOP. (Yellow light means go very fast – name that movie!)

7) Slamming on the brakes/slowing down forever to read the obnoxious signs that tell you how many minutes it will take to get to the next major highway/state road.  Guess what, buddy? You just increased the time posted by 2 minutes.

8) Going 15 mph in a 35 mph zone.  The cause of probably as many accidents as the person going 55 in the same zone.

9) Not knowing how to merge. Here’s a few tips, if you’re getting on the freeway, speed up. If you’re in the slow lane – watch out for cars getting on, and LET THEM IN by stepping on that favorite brake of yours. Oh, wait it’s only your favorite if there is no actual reason to step on it. Sorry, my bad.

10) Not bothering to check for pedestrians at the end of a freeway off-ramp before you California roll it through the intersection.  Sometimes I walk, and sometimes I walk with my kid in her stroller in front of me and I want us both to live. So, please, slow the fu$& down and use those two orb-like things located at the front of your head to check for humans.

Rant over.

I know I haven’t covered them all, which poor driving habits bug the crap out of you?

6 comments

  1. You come off the highway… you put your blinker on because you need to move over into the next lane to avoid getting back onto the highway again… the muppet in the lane you’re trying to get into speeds up, passes you, then cuts right in front of you and forces you to brake so you don’t slam into them.

    If you’d just let me pull out into your lane, you’d have a spot to move into, asshole.

    Okay, done.

    Like

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