Friday Night’s Alright for Writing (#19) Get the Balance Right

Be responsible, respectable,
Stable but gullible
Concerned and caring, help the helpless
But always remain ultimately selfish

Get the balance right, get the balance right

Depeche Mode (or more specifically Mr. Martin Gore)

I’ve been meditating a lot on balance this week.   Am I getting it right?  It’s a lot more right than it was a year ago.  Probably more right than it was 6 months ago in certain respects, but I feel lately that it’s been tipping in a wrong direction.

I’ve certainly been responsible.  Single momhood has been a challenge, but Maya is clean, clothed, fed and happy – so I’ve been doing something right (as has her Dad – so kudos to us in gracefully handling co-parenting).  I have a roof over our heads and money in the bank (not a lot, but certainly enough to pay the bills).

Respectable…yes, I’ve been that too, I think.  I’ve been following those pesky Four Agreements (being impeccable with my word, trying not to take anything personally, trying not to make any assumptions and always trying to do my best) – and while not perfect, I think I’ve done my best. Hey, there’s me following Agreement #4 now!

Stable – see above paragraph referencing responsibility.  Gullible? Well, I like to look at this as giving people the benefit of the doubt and believing that in general, people are well-meaning.  I guess if we’re not talking about teenagers in school, then I’ve been that too.

Concerned and caring, helping the helpless – yes, this pretty much defines my job.  How I relate to my students (even if it is learned helplessness), and how I relate to my colleagues (not that they are helpless in any way, that was more the concerned and caring part.) How I relate, period.

Remaining ultimately selfish…hmmm…this is where the balance is not right.  Because I’ve been pouring myself into caring for others, I do seem to have neglected myself a bit. I haven’t really gained any of the weight back…been struggling with a couple of pounds but not anything crazy.  Whereas, I had been exercising like clockwork three times a week, I’m grateful if I get 1-2 sessions in…and the intensity is not what it was. I was meditating daily, and now it’s more hit and miss.  Writing twice a week, and it’s gone down to once, and sometimes not even that.

Okay — it’s time for a recalibration my friends. I need to get the root of why the balance is off.  I suspect the answer starts with a “w” and ends with a “k” – but I’ll reserve judgement until the end of my staycation.

I have the next 13 (yes…13!!!) days to (re)discover what is important to me and figure out a way to put my attention towards those things (and people).  Wish me luck 🙂

Happy Friday!

 

3 comments

  1. I’m sure you’ll find some balance again… honestly, I think it’s rare for me to be in balance… there’s always something that’s at least a little out of kilter. Right now, I’m emotionally, spiritually and intellectually all over the place and the one thing I should be doing – meditating – I haven’t done for a month!

    Hang in there… you’ll find your peace again 🙂

    Like

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