You’ve Got Time

Think of all the roads
Think of all their crossings
Taking steps is easy
Standing still is hard

-Regina Spektor

Usually while I’m on vacation, I forget what day of the week it is, what date of the month it is, and what I’m supposed to be doing. That generally means I’m having a good go of it. It has happened in some respects, but during the last few weeks I’ve been keenly aware of the passing of time. And that in some ways I’m running out of it.

I’m not sure exactly why I’m feeling this way. It’s likely a combination of things.

Maybe it’s the holiday hop–from Chanukah, to Christmas, then right on to New Year’s Eve and Day.

Maybe it’s that the year has officially turned from even to odd.

Maybe it’s because the season has changed, and not only on paper for once. We’ve experienced a real So Cal winter, complete with frost on the rooftops, freeze warnings, and a real need for scarves and boots.

Maybe it’s because I’m approaching the last year of my 30s. “Someday!” is approaching faster than I would like.

Comfort me, Harry

Maybe it’s because even though I’ve tried my best to be present, I’ve still spent too much time rushing, and I need to slow down. A dynamic life is good, but not one that is always on a high. I’d prefer softer peaks.

Maybe it’s that the little monkey has officially creeped up from 4 years to 5 (though, as I have mentioned, she’s been going on 14 for quite a while.) I’ve spent more time with her in the past 2 weeks than probably in the past 2 months. I’ve so enjoyed the cuddles, kisses, and extra time…but now that extra is done.

I’ve got 13 hours left until I have to return to work.

I’ll need to remember how to take those steps, because right now, they don’t seem easy. Even though it’s hard, standing seems the better way to go.

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